Self Image
by AnimeOtaku 25
Summary: No one said family life would be easy. As Kurogane spends the day out working for their family, Fai stays home raising their young children. But all this time apart has Fai worrying about their relationship. Will it withstand the stress and distance?


_KuroFai 100 Theme Challenge:_

_#054 - Self Image_

_Well, here's my 2nd story! This time from Fai's point of view. I'm not so sure if I did good with this one, I usually write as Kurogane instead of Fai. LOL~_

_For those of you who just joined me, welcome! OwO I just wanna let y'all know that _Me & my BFF took the challenge together_, _so you won't be seeing ALL of the 100 themes on my account. I decided to post my part of the challenge here, but you can find ALL of the ones we've done so far on redeyedguardianangel. tumblr .com/ (mine) or invisible angel. tumblr .com/ (my BFF's)__

_A couple of things I'd like to clarify before you start reading:_

_*This and any story related too our 100 theme challenge is based on an ongoing RP me and my BFF have had for well over 2 years._

*_Which means that in that time we've developed our stories to where Kurogane & Fai have settled down and have a family of their own._

_*This specific story takes place after Kurogane & Fai traveled back to Modern-day Tokyo with their children and settle down in a refurbished Suwa Manor._

_With that said, __I hope you enjoy this story!_

It started as an ordinary day for me.

I woke up to find that Kuro-pon had left to work without waking me up… again. Silly puppy. He keeps thinking it's rude to wake me up before leaving …or maybe he knows I might make him late. I giggled to myself at the idea. Maybe he won't be so lucky tonight.

I got up to check on my little liepkins. Cute little things they are! Little Ryu, the tiny version of his Kuro-daddy, came running to meet me; followed by my Emi; who, as always, was holding her stuffed kitty tightly. Little rascals! Not even 2 years old yet and already they know how to climb out their crib! Then again, it's to be expected when their father is a ninja.

I knelt down to hug them and kiss them, listening to their babbling. They're already saying some words, like "mama", "dada" and "wuv". The latter could mean anything from "I love you mom" to "pick me up! I want to cuddle!" Of course, a mother always knows.

We all walked into their younger siblings' room to check on them. Little Yumi was laying down, staring at the sky outside the window contently. But my poor little Kai was coughing again. He was taking it like a trooper, though. It's been a while since he's been ill, but he comes out stronger each day. He doesn't cry anymore when he coughs. He's got his father's strong spirit …and my looks! He's got my blonde hair, ivory skin, and those cute big blue eyes. Kuro-chu insists we look like angels …maybe Kai does, but I sure ain't no angel.

I picked him up and patted his back gently to help soothe the coughing before I scooped up his twin sister and headed downstairs along with my eldest children. I gave Kai his coughing medicine, which never fails to make him cry. I rocked him for a bit until he calmed down before sitting all my little ones in their respective highchairs.

I turned on the TV to entertain them with some "Playhouse Disney" while I prepared them breakfast. On today's menu we had bite-sized pancakes with strawberries …something sweet to go along with those. Trust me, I'd rather clean up strawberry juice than maple syrup. I fed the youngest some oatmeal. They really love oatmeal!

After breakfast we all played together until they got tired. As much as I love them, I thanked the heavens when nap time rolled around. It's not easy to take care of 2 sets of twins under the age of 2 …but I wouldn't trade it for the world. One by one I layed them down, smiling fondly at their sweet, sleeping faces. I took advantage of this peace to clean up a bit …especially do some laundry. At their age, the mess is almost constant.

The day kept going like that: cleaning, playing with the children, cleaning up the toys, lunch, cleaning the kitchen, bath time, cleaning the puddles… before I even realized it, it was dinner time already!

I hurried to make some yummy food for my beloved Kuro-tan. I fed the children, then sat to watch TV with them while we waited for their daddy to come home. Minutes passed …shows came on one after another …gee, where can he be? After a while of waiting the children got tired. They cried, cranky. So I took them upstairs, changed their diapers and tucked them in.

Wow, Kuro-chi was never this late. I wonder what happened?

I went to watch some more TV. I watched this show with a lady named Tyra. I had taken a liking to this show since we moved to this new world. She had a different topic every day. Today's topic was about cheating husbands…

Uh-oh…

W-was Kuro-rinta cheating on me?

N-No way…

I turned off the TV and headed upstairs to take a shower. My mind kept racing. He did marry me… he did say he loved me… but… he's never openly said he's gay…

C-Could he be bisexual?

Even if he wasn't, would he even look at other men?

Not really… Kuro-wan took pride in his manliness. He would never be attracted to another man. He told me himself that he liked that I had some feminine features…

Oh God…

So he still likes women?

I remember now! We went to a theme park not to long ago, and he kept staring at a souvenir shot-glass that featured a woman in provocative clothes… no… no way… he wouldn't.

But he was home late… getting even later every second.

I stared at my naked body in our bathroom mirror. What did I offer him? Sure, I had soft skin …I happen to enjoy nice long baths and moisturizers. And I always let him have his way …prove his manliness. I-I loved his manliness. I love him! He's been the only man in my life and I've been the only man in his!

But I wasn't the first in his life…

He's admitted to me before how he used to be with women in the past. Plenty of women… b-beautiful women… did he miss feeling a woman's body?

I kept staring at my body. All I had to offer that remotely resembled a woman was my now wider hips. I had used magic to conceive and have our children, and it was magic that had widen my hips to carry them. I was going to return them to normal, but Kuro-puu said he liked them like this… n-now I know why…

My chest was flat, obviously… nowhere near as gorgeous as my Kurogane's… his body was amazing… mine was lanky and pale and awkward-looking. How could he make love to this? This skinny, weak, no-good body of mine.

Ideas spinned like crazy in my head. He wasn't home …with me. No. He was with someone else. A woman. He's been touching those curves …cupping those breasts …kissing those lips …hers and not mine! It killed me! I took one last look at my body before hiding it in my robe. I couldn't stand looking at myself!

I sank to the floor, feeling like dirt. My eyes were already swimming in tears. I couldn't blame him. He deserved everything good in life …and that wasn't me.

I jumped up when I heard our front door. He was home. He was home! God, I was so happy he came home to me! Happy …and scared. Terrified that he'd reject me …that he didn't want me anymore.

"Baby! I'm home"

I panicked. I didn't want him to see me like this. I started rubbing my eyes, but tears wouldn't stop coming out. I was freaking out. I mean, I probably should tell him what I was feeling, but what if I'm wrong? What if he was just held back to finish up some work? What then? Would he hate me for not trusting him? I hated not knowing!

"Fai? You home?"

I heard his footsteps getting closer. I didn't want him to find me like this…

"Fai …what's wrong?"

Crap. Too late. He found me …looking like a pitiful cat curled up in the floor of our bathroom, eyes red. I could see his face warping into worry. I looked down shyly as he knelt in front of me and cupped my face.

"What is it? Were you crying?"

I was afraid to look at him. I felt like the worst of the worst. I didn't want to lie to him, we had put that part of my life past us long ago. I just started blurting out verbal puke in between sobs.

"…o-okay, lemme get this straight: you thought that I was out cheating on you because I had to work a little overtime? Fai… really?"

I could see in his face that he was torn at the moment between laughing or scolding me. But I could see that the latter was the most likely one. All I managed to do was cling to him and bury my face in his shirt. I couldn't help but take in his scent, not cologne nor deodorant, but him. I felt like I hadn't smelled him or been with him in days. I didn't like feeling so distant. I admit, I can be clingy at times …and he knew this. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my hair as I mumbled my insecurities against his chest. He just chuckled softly and lovingly said "stupid wizard, can't you realize by now how much I love you?"

He gently tilted my face up so I could meet his warm red eyes. "I selfishly turned you into a vampire so I could keep you around longer… I gave up my arm so I wouldn't lose you… and I kept traveling to different worlds with you… I chose you. I chose you to spend the rest of my life with… and you made me a father. Yuii, I love you with all my being."

He did it. He used my real name. He's the only one in any world who knows this …and he loves me. I couldn't help but cry. I was being stupid and jealous and insecure. I cried in his shoulders and he held me tightly in his arms. "as for the physical aspect, I've always told you that I think you're beautiful." He helped me stand and undid my robe. I felt exposed. I felt the instinct to cover up or run and hide. But he turned me to face the mirror and stood behind me.

"Just look at you. Men in my era have always been attracted to light skin. Not to mention that I've never met anyone with your features. Your eyes are like big sapphires and your hair is like spun gold. I admit, I'm not exactly gay …but I'm immensely attracted to you." He smiled softly and faced me. "and you know what? I can't stop thinking about you …I even have a picture of you with me all the time."

He just smiled at me and said "I love you" …and I felt like the stupidest person ever. How could I ever doubt him? I cried as he kissed every inch of my skin. I was happy …truly happy. He loved me. And I loved him so much. He kissed my tears away and swept me off my feet …literally, like he always did. I giggled softly in his arms, I couldn't contain my happiness.

He layed me down gently on our bed and undressed himself to lay down with me. He then began to kiss my body almost religiously, like if he were paying tribute to my every cell. I flushed as my hands explored his tan, sculpted body. I leaned forward to kiss his metal arm, the price he paid to keep me with him. I sometimes felt guilty that he had to lose a limb for my sake.

"You know what?" he said as he noticed me kissing his prosthetic limb, "…sometimes I feel ugly with this thing." He grinned like a little boy admitting he ate worms. "…I mean, look at it. Sometimes I feel like I make you uncomfortable with this. It's not warm flesh that I can use to touch you. It gets too hot in the summer, and in the winter I always feel like it might get stuck on your skin. And the skin around it …I feel like the way it scarred looks gross…" Then his smile warmed. "…but then you go and do things like this. You kiss it with love and make me feel like it's no big deal …so you see, you're not the only insecure one. What matters is that we love each other."

I gave him a watery smile before kissing him with all the love I had for him. The way he kissed me and touched my body made me feel like I was indeed beautiful. As we made love I realized that it doesn't matter what I look like to anyone …all that matters is that Kuro-rin loves me, and I love him.

It ended like an ordinary day for me …Kurogane held me in his arms as we both fell asleep.

…told ya he wouldn't be so lucky tonight~


End file.
